Mike Pence and the Holier than Thou Brigade


I like Jesus Christ. He’s one of my favorite historical figures. It seems like he was a nice guy, generally. Oh, he could get pissed off, like when he threw the Pharisees out of the temple and all. But you know, he had reason. Generally though, he was a straightforward person. Told a good story. But these days a whole lot of people are saying and doing a lot of hateful things in his name, and I for one don’t think it’s right. Oh, they call themselves Christians, but I just don’t see it. As a matter of fact, it seems to me that they’re giving Christians a bad name.

You know, one day Jesus was talking to some people and he said there were only two rules people needed to follow to join him: Love God, and Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. I like that. It’s simple and clear. How can you argue with that?

But I guess two rules aren’t enough for some people. So they had to go back into the Old Testament and pick and choose from parts of that book to find more rules they say are part of being a Christian. Now, if they want to choose rules and apply them to themselves, I have no problem with that. Some things done in the name of religion such as self-flagellation I think are a bit odd, but it makes me no nevermind if someone wants to hit themselves with a stick or a whip. I say, if it makes you happy or if in some way you think it brings you closer to your image of God, then go ahead.

But when you pick and choose rules from the Old Testament and try to force them on other people, that’s another story. And you have to go to the Old Testament, of course, because you can’t find the nasty bits in Jesus words – the mean stuff these so-called Christians like to glom on to, like homosexuality is a sin. And of course you shouldn’t eat pork or shellfish… Wait. They actually don’t follow those rules. They like their bacon. That’s why I call them Selective Christians. They select what rules they want from the Old Testament and ignore others. I didn’t know you were allowed to do that. Most religions I know take an all-or-nothing approach.

And these same Holier-than-thou Selective Christians are so caught up in telling other people what to do that they seem to have lost sight of some really important things Jesus told his followers to do. Such as, one of his best lines, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” That’s a good one. You don’t hear that one much around the Pence crowd though.

And here’s the really interesting thing. They’re also really selective about the United States constitution. I’m talking some of its really good lines, like the ones about the separation of church and state and the idea of religious freedom. They want the U.S. Government to pass laws making what they consider to be sins illegal. And at the same time they want their discriminatory behavior against those they consider to be sinners to be legal. Because they don’t really believe in the separation of their church and our state, and they’re all for religious freedom as long as it’s their definition of religion.

And I’m here to tell you that I think if we had Jesus Christ here today. If he walked into one of these churches and saw what these people are propagating in his name, he’d, well… You know all of those Rock & Roll musicians who aren’t letting the Republicans use their music at their events because they don’t want their music associated with them? Well, I think if Jesus came back today, he’d make them stop using his name and he’d take back those crosses too. And I don’t think he’d be polite about it either. After all, we know he could get pissed off, when he had reason.




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